Puppy Too Small

So, I'm having a rough day over here.

Captain America flew home for a funeral for one of his close friends in high school. I am so happy he has the opportunity to say goodbye and be there with his friends. I know this is important to him, and that makes it important to me, too.

For today and tomorrow though, this means that I am alone. Two days is no big deal - ask any military wife. Heck - two months is usually a "short" time away! But time away comes at a price, and it usually includes part (or all) of the mother's sanity.

You don't want to go crazy, but some days you just get there. Singing your ABC's 8,000 times a day with spit up on both shoulders and peanut butter on your pants will eventually lead you to a train of thought that is anything but helpful. I was there today.

I was arguing with myself about the value of being a mother, and lamenting all the "great" stuff I don't do anymore because I am with the kids. I was bemoaning Captain America and all the things he has achieved, reasoning that it isn't fair that he gets to do those things, while I'm home with snot on my sleeve. I was hating hypothetical people in situations that haven't even come yet - trying to convince them, and myself, that what I do is important. Yup. I am aware that is pretty nutty. But, I am also aware that every Mom knows exactly what I am talking about.

Then, right there in the middle of my argument (with myself) Little Man woke up.

So, I went to go feed him and rock him awhile. I thought about my friends, and what they are probably doing and the fun they are having. I remembered one friend in particular, a friend that could talk with you for hours - even though in reality there is very little you have in common. This particular friend was with me all through my pregnancy with Little Man, and I smiled thinking how much she would love to be here holding him right now.

And then I remembered a book by Cyndy Szekeres called Puppy Too Small. I don't have the book in front of me for specific references, but the main idea of the book is that this little puppy was sad about the things he wasn't big enough to do. The more reasonable adults in his life would gently affirm his claim. Yes, he was in fact too small to do some things. But- they would point out- he was the perfect size to do other things that needed to be done.

And then I realized, I am puppy too small. Aren't we all? Whether you are a Mom or not - we all get hung up on what we are too inadequate to do. We are too poor, too busy, too tired, too...whatever.

The fact is we are "just right" for something. I am just right for being Mom to Pumpkin and Little Man.  I am just right for being Captain America's wife. I can gripe about what I can't (or don't get to) do...or I could take pride and find joy in the tasks that I do that no one else can. Sure, everyone can wash dishes and do laundry. But not everyone can sing the perfect bedtime song, or say prayers the way Pumpkin likes. Nobody else knows that when Pumpkin wants an eggo she likes to sit on the counter and watch it toast. Nobody knows what she means when she says the "bunny movie" - except me. I know. Nobody else knows Captain America's favorite meals, the way he likes his laundry folded, or his favorite socks. But I do, because I am just right for this job.

I did something great today, and I know you did, too. I made someone happy, and I know you did, too. You probably didn't do everything you wanted to, I know I didn't.  But you did something- even just one thing- just right. Time will come for me to do all the other great things I think about, and that time will come for you. Today though, it is important to jump off the crazy train and do the great things right in front of us.